May 23, 2013


It's ten o'clock on a Sunday night, and
For some reason, exhaustion hasn't taken over yet.
Maybe it was the iced coffee at 7pm
But, I had to get rid of my headache.
I know I could call you now,
Wake you from your sleepy haze.
You told me to call, said you'd wake for me.
But, I don't know what I would say.
What does a wife say at ten o'clock
When her words are all used up?
There's nothing new to tell you about
No new trinket from the night.
I'm just sitting here mulling over the same
Territory I've walked for years now.
The same thoughts, worries and fears,
What's the point? I have no idea,
Other than I haven't solved these riddles yet.
I play my puzzle games throughout the day
Hoping something will click,
That missing link will appear.
But, it hasn't happened yet,
And I'm tired of searching for answers.

Someday, we will have a simpler version of life,
I hope.
Or, at least those future problems won't be entirely
Of our own making.
I'm sure they won't be easy,
And I'm sure I still won't sleep because of them.
But, at least they won't be these problems, right?
We've carried these burdens for what
Seems like an eternity, almost the entire length
Of our short marriage.
Where did these last four years go?
I ask myself if we have been
Building the life that we truly want?
Or, are we just going through the motions?
I feel like we've been waiting,
Waiting for the time when our lives will truly begin.

It's sad, really, to always be waiting.
I don't want to wait anymore.
I'm tired of being patient,
And saying if we can hang on just a little longer
We will make it.

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